Oh God, snow hurts.

To the surprise of noone at all, I am incredibly uncoordinated and for some reason this was not at all beneficial when learning how to snowboard. After explaining to everyone I have never skateboarded, surfed or even mastered walking in a straight line I commenced my first lesson. Geared up like I was from Gears of War I spent my first 2 hours showing off my various creative techniques of falling on my face. After a particularly bad tumble at high speed where I rolled over like someone had set sv_gravity to 0 I considered that maybe my balance was somewhat lacking.

Battered and broken, we returned to our hotel and died a little inside before heading to a nearby village to buy me some new shoes. This 4 hour mission in the freezing cold involved a lack of maps, taxis and english, and included an angry travel mate, lots of swearing and finally, a new pair of shoes (which were about 10 metres from where we arrived,  whoops). We had to travel by bus to the nearest town, a quaint country village by the name of Kutchan. Unfortunately Kutchan does not have a massive amount of Western traffic and so we disembarked and promptly got utterly lost without 10 minutes. It took us far too long to realize what we should have done in the first place; gone into a restaurant and scream “TAKUSHI!” while waving our arms frantically. (Taxi, for those playing at home.) When we got back we returned to the slopes for a last dosage of punishment. As amazingly surreal as it was to board by moonlight, it took one run for my left arse cheek to protest violently at this decision. I stumbled back to my hotel to count my bruises. Maybe it would be easy for a coordinated person?